I'm still not 100% but the medicine has kicked in and I'm feeling alive again. I'm moving around; taking care of things; and most importantly not crying in front of Suzie all the time now. That was the worst of it--feeling so much guilt about ruining her life that every time I saw her I'd start crying, which is obviously so much worse. She's been sweet; concerned and as gentle as her fiery little self can be.
Plus, that rash I mentioned, it's called PUPPP--and it's absolutely horrifying. Skin clawing itchiness for which there seems to be no cure except time--like 4-6 weeks of it. Benadryl doesn't touch it; lanacaine, solarcaine, hydrocortizone--nothing. Except then I found a few natural remedies--Grandpa's pine tar soap, stinging nettle caps, and dandelion root tea, combined with this Sarna lotion makes it so at least my skin is still intact and I can get a few hours sleep a night. Not an ideal situation for an anxious, post-partum mom of two. I guess my body had a reaction to the huge amount of collagen pumped into it during the last two weeks of my pregnancy when Ben got so big so fast--it's an autoimmune thing.
Anyway, baby crying. Gotta run. At some point I'll actually write about the birth--which was great by the way!
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1 comments:
Soooo great to hear you're doing better! I thought it might be PUPPP. It sounds just dreadful. Eeeeee.
As for Suzie, you are NOT ruining her life. I know you've been concerned for a while about her adjustment. You are giving her the gift of a younger brother -- the chance to have someone share her generation with her -- the chance to have a playmate and companion for life -- and the chance to have someone to bitch about her parents with!!! That you're so sensitive to what an adjustment this is for her just speaks to how attuned to her needs you really are. You're an awesome mama! Now go kick some PUPPP ass (ugh). xoxo
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